i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize