I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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