she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
