Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
