I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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