hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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