In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
