I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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