Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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