I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
handjob tips. give me some.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
