No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
