im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
