im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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