We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
