awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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