just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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