I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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