Your tits are I can't wait for
the condom got lost in my hair
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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