Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
