hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need a beard to bite.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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