i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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