wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
