he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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