I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
