I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the day after is always just damage control
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Randomize
