i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
