idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
