Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
