I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
