but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I got inside last night via doggy door
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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