nut hugger
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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