The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
