The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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