I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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