I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
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