I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
