saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize