I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
