sarcasm needs its own font
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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