You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
