Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
