weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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