dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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