Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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