this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
