apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
