In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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