She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the condom got lost in my hair
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
