I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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