Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
