I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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