You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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