He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
