You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
