Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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