I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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