remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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