THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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