it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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