Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
