Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
